Wednesday, June 29, 2005

searching....

[pegel2..pengen pijet]

saat ini rasanya bener2 merindukan massage deh.
boyok pada pegel.
sambil menunggu i-net yang menyeret kakinya (kl punya kaki) & detik2 terakhir menuju teng-go...corat coret di blog sejenak aahhhhh....
...mumpung wajah baru
jadi lebih termotivasi buat nulis.

kagak ada yg bener2 baru dari aku.
masih berusaha mencari sesuatu yg baru & pas.
minggu lalu abis ikut outbond yg diadain mudika gerejaku.
di lembah kedampul bromo.
berharap menemukan sesuatu-tapi ternyata biasa saja.
berharap outbondnya menegangkan & seru, tapi ternyata so-so.
apa aku yang terlalu tinggi ya harapannya.
kebanyakan anak sma & kuliah.
ada segelintir orang yg udah kerja.
ada yg lumayan attractive - punya hobi yg agak nggak biasa. he has pythons as his pets. lumayan enak diajak omong. but cuman sampe di situ aja.
gak seru oi.
aku rasa karena lingkungan & situasi yg kurang mendukung jadi bikin aku kurang bersemangat (untung msh ada Iwan).
cuman foto2 sedikit.
ga keliatan narcist spt kl sama gank gila Alto (guys, if you read this...no hurt feeling yo...kenyataan kok:P)

walau waktu datang, banyak bintang di langit,
ternyata paginya tak seindah yg kubayangkan.
kesan pertama waktu liat bukitnya...wow!
but, abis itu...ya biasa aja.

tidak ada suasana persaudaraan yg kuharapkan
spt teman2 kantorku
spt teman2 travellingku yang 1nya (kumis-lusy-tfi, dll)
among them-i feel like in a family.

anak2 mudika baik2 sih.
still i feel that i'm not part of them.
i know it need time, but i'm not intend to know further.

lompat beberapa hari ke depan
ada job dadakan dr anak2 caecilia.
funny kids. latah ga karu2an.
but i can laugh with them.

still trying to find fit clothes for me.
i dunno where life will lead me.
hope good news will come soon.

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

new look

How do it look? :P
Ga terlalu sreg sih benernya...
Tapi buat sementara bolehlah...dah bosen skin yg lama.

kalau heran kok gak ada menu2 yg biasanya di samping kanan,
tengoklah ke pojok kanan atas, ada tanda +.
klik aja-baru menunya nongol.

Thursday, June 02, 2005

life is like roller coaster

human life is like roller coaster.
up and down, drastically sometimes.

recently, my friends' life and mine are just like that.
shocking marriage news from imut, vera's pregnancy, carla's relationship story-and mine as well.
balancing between sad n happy stories.
hmm..this month is full of big news.
there's another big news from another friend-but i'd rather not to talk here.

a friend from uni will held her wedding party next month-but till now she hasn't prepare anything. wow!crazy!

big changes for each of us.
some have fulfilled their fate, some still have to looking for their mate.
i dunno what will happen in the future.
i dunno whether i make one leap ahead, or backward.
but i hope, i make the right decision for my own destiny.

again, i'm at intersection of my own will now.
mismatch between head, feelings and conscience.
again-my logic against my heart
which one will win?
don't know which way i hav to pick
i can't look my path from my spot now.

sometimes, i feel like left behind.
He knows what i feel right now and what i longing for
but, perhaps it's not my time-and He know that i haven't ready yet.

so help me God
tell me when i'm ready.